Waking Up Is Hard To Do. 

i know I try to be Little Miss Positivity, but do I feel like it this rainy morning? … NO! 

I am sat with my hood whilst inside incase anyone sees me through the window, as I feel embarrassed about the state of my hair and the future state of my head! 

I tried to prepare myself for it, cutting my hair short,  but honestly, I feel pathetic. I know I shouldn’t feel sorry for myself, but I do! I don’t want to, but I really feel yuck about myself. I’ve gained weight, I have no hair and because I threw most of my make up away I don’t have much to play with and all my earrings make me feel like a drag queen! 

It doesn’t matter how many people say to me you knew this was going to happen… It doesn’t help! And how many people tell me beauty comes from within…. Does it? Tell that to the organic make up site I went on last night and spent £100 on to make my face look pretty! 

This thug look is just embarrassing I feel like I need to hide. I started driving to my hypnotherapy and yoga session this morning at the Haven,  but got stuck in so much traffic it wasn’t happening,  so I turned around and headed to Tesco to stock up on organic goodies.

Whilst on the way some men where walking and looking into the cars so I swiftly put my hood back up over my shaved head and hid, same in Tesco’s I kept my hood up and prayed I didn’t see anyone I know! Sad but true. It’s just so bizarre how my hair coming out and now waiting for it to progressively look worse and tufty then to a shiny bald head, has really knocked my confidence to even do the basic things … Like walk around the shops! 

Honestly, I just want to curl up today and hide. So first thing is first! I’m going to post a picture of my baldy head… Then it’s out there isn’t it… Everyone will have seen it and hopefully I will get some relief from ‘outing’ my head! 

… And then I will do what I know I do best …dust myself off and get on with it. So next order of the day is to dress myself up including my wig and go to lunch with Zoe, then I will take Cassie to the gym and put her through her paces, and although I can’t do much, I can do little bits here and there and just get used to being in the gym again. 

My question of the day is how do wigs react to rain? I don’t want to ruin it? Anyone know if I should avoid getting this wet? Well, I guess I’ll find out!  

full organic fridge!
my hunter gear hoody hiding my head, thanks for giving me this hoody Jack!
losing hair fast
on the move, with my shaved thug head

7 thoughts on “Waking Up Is Hard To Do. 

  1. I would love to shave my head and still look as good as you do Mel but I know if I did, my head would look sooo much better than my face full of wrinkles…..Embrace your new look girl and strut your stuff, confidence is a state of mind, not what you look like, some of the ugliest people ( on the inside and out ) have so much confidence that no-one cares about the way they look, having no hair just shows off your beauty but without the framework, don’t you think that women with no hair look sexy? I sure do!!!!


  2. I think if you didn’t feel all those emotions you wouldn’t be human! You really are beautiful with and without hair! I know I would not look like that. If your ever in london I would be happy to offer you a complimentary makeup lesson for how to draw your brows etc as I have worked for look good feel better for women who have lost brows, lashes etc.

    I hope you are feeling ok and get used to your new hair soon. And honestly if your in london don’t hesitate to take me up on my offer!


    Liked by 1 person

  3. I thought losing my hair was the worst part of this cancer malarky! It doesn’t matter what anyone says, it just SUCKS big time! Feeling your pain xxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mel honestly you look fab. You could be one of the cast of the new Mad Max movie which is pissing some men off as its heros are badass women with cruecuts. You need to embrase you new look. 🙂


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