Double Jab.

Thanks to my kickboxing nurse I got a double jab of my white blood cell booster injection (filgrastim) this afternoon. Oh apparently I moved and the needle came out and so she had to jab me twice in the stomach, whilst laughing at my pain! ­čśé There is no need to the randomness of this girl!

But that is three days of white blood cell boosters out of seven done, and the end of some of my anti-nausea drugs today, which scares me. As I’m still struggling with food and feeling sick here and there. So I guess it is wait and see and then call the hospital if I need more help.

Haircut day tomorrow and I’m feeling nervous, the last time I had short brown hair I was 21 starting my first proper office job and trying to look sophisticated, needless to say it didn’t work, I cried all week until my hairdresser could put some blonde highlights throughout and I then I grew it for the next 5 years, and bleached it religiously!

I’m trying not to bleach my hair but I’m not sure I can do short and dark, but I have managed long and dark hair for the past month or so.

I think from my Facebook page pole ( Melinda Cooksey – Toxin Free Living) it is the frankie do that is the most popular! Although it is the most dramatic so I’m not sure I am brave enough to do it.

Why hair is so important to a girl I just don’t know! But it just feels so scary to think I might lose it all and be a baldilocks, what if I get a wig and it is windy and it blows off, or my kickboxing nurse pulls it off my head in the street! (She’d do that to me, and film it!).

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The C word.

Well yesterday I went for my first chemotherapy treatment, which I won’t lie I was nervous about the last few days, but I decided to go ahead due to several factors: I haven’t been able to research enough about how to keep cancer at bay and feel 100% confident with natural measures, and for my loved ones who have all had major stresses along the way of me saying I won’t have it, so I’m doing it for them and security and my peace of mind.

As I walked in the room everyone stared at me and Cassie, I suppose when you look half the age of everyone else having treatment, even in the treatment room people are intrigued and probably relieved it was the ‘slightly’ older one of the two of us going into the treatment chair! Also me and Cassie caused chaos moving from one chair to another and confusing the nurse.

It’s quite a long process, longer than I was expecting, it was about 30-40 minutes saline flush, then 30 mins anti sickness bag 1, then about 20 mins or so for anti sickness bag 2! Then it was about 1 hour for the 6 syringes of chemo to be pumped into me. The 6 syringes are made up of 2 syringes of each of the 3 types of chemo I have that make up FEC (fluorouracil also called 5FU,
epirubicin, cyclophosphamide). One of the three made my nose run and sneeze and as soon as I stopped having it pumped into me by the nurse I was fine. Then the third one into me burnt as it went in. I have three cycles of this and then three further cycles of T ( Docetaxel).

It felt like it took forever but Cass came to keep me company and all but two of the other people I could see in the room had people wit them.
I apparently looked a bit dopey when it was all finished and I was a little nauseous and had a terrible headache a couple of hours after eating but it went away as I laughed my head of at Googlebox. I so want to be on Googlebox!

After sleeping for an hour a wave of sickness came across me and I ran to the toilet with my hoody in hand so that I didn’t freeze, but I wasn’t sick and then the bowl was brought out and around 12.15 I was sick, I managed to give myself whiplash, reaching for the bowl so fast, cried and sobbed that I couldn’t do this to Cass, who had to convince me I wasn’t dying and I was just being sick! Then I had relief for around 30 minutes and then the pain kicked in again and sickness again and then my period started, great! So not only am sick when I’m not sick I have period pains. Not the best combination you could imagine!

I carry on on my hourly cycle of sickness until about 6 am in the morning when I eventually stop. And then I slept for an hour and took a cocktail of pills I had been given, and had a green smoothie with added vitamin c at lunch time.

I haven’t much fancied food, I feel sick most the time and have a what feels like a constant headache but as the day goes on and I am getting better.

I had my first injection today to boost my white blood cells, at least they said I was thin, haha, that was a nice compliment as I feel so fat at the moment, not that it is important what I weigh at the moment. For the rest of the week Cassie will do my injections for me, they showed her what to do, to save a district nurse coming out to me daily . I could do them myself but I’m really not great with the thought of injecting myself!

Anyway hopefully there is no sickness tonight, and on a plus I did use my Fushi organic carrot oil that Fiona brought me a couple of days ago, so although I am not allowed sunbeds ­čśę I rubbed that on my face and looked nice and tanned. Plus you can eat it as well! It’s packed full of vitamins A, B, C, D & E as well as Beta Carotene. So all round it’s good for me, organic and made me look brown….slightly orange to start with ­čśé but it settled down.

So cross fingers for a better night! And no begging for it to be over. And apparently it gets bad day 4 -7 so I hope that isn’t the case for me!

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Little Pinkie 

A mini post for the evening, after going for a bike ride! Yes I’m 6 weeks post op and trying to do a little bit of light exercise befor me chemo starts, and hopefully throughout, I looked at my Unchipped nails and thought this non- toxic nail varnish is amazing! 

I have Fluorescent pink non- toxic nails! It’s made from pure water and bees wax and is like a gel finish from a new company called little ondine. 

I tried a different minimised toxin nail varnish but honestly it wasn’t a patch on these that are completely toxic free. 

I now have 3 colours (silver glitter, fluorescent pink and green), I also have the secret base and top coat that adds shine and I reckon keeps them staying on for longer! 

I painted my nails Monday, it’s now Thursday and they are still perfect! 

I cannot recommend these nail polishes enough, they are Melinda proof which is a feat in itself and toxic free and an amazing range of colours!