I’ve always been a dizzy blonde. 

It’s true, I’ve always been a dizzy blonde! I just forget my left and right, and generally wonder round in a daze! That’s just me! 

But, now it’s different. It seems the last few days not only have I wanted to, and have slept for hours, I have come over all dizzy all of a sudden and just had to sit down and take a moment! 

Problem is the moments don’t last long enough as I get embarrassed that I’m not my normal all action self, and if I am honest I tell a white lie to say I’m ok just to get home or to pretend I am feeling normal. 

Today I was in a shop and the manager looked at me, asked if I was ok and subsiquently I was sat on the stairs drinking a glass of water, how stupid did I feel sitting there knowing she could see the wash of dizziness, or maybe the fear in my eyes, as I felt like I was going to fall over.

I drank the water, took 5 minutes and forced myself to get on with it! It’s quite frustrating that it seems to be happening each day now; and on top of that my hand saga continues! 

So I was the unlucky statistic, according to the chemo nurses, that had the chemo leak into my hand rather than staying in my artery! So I had all the antidote over the bank holiday weekend and my hand is still a little swollen with some pain if you press it and a weird pain in my wrist, that really does want to just go away now! 

I went to the hospital for my check up of my hand yesterday, and they subsiquently told me that the antidote was meant to all go through my left arm (the arm with lymphs removed, that normally I’m not allowed anything done to!) well obviously that didn’t happen and all weekend the antidote was put through my right arm and apparently a little to close to the leak point! Cue awkward feeling in the pit of my stomach! 

Well anyway they want me back again next week, and they want to put a pic line in me as apparently my formerly veiny arms have gone into hibernation and now they just can’t get my veins to come to play and they don’t want any more problems. I don’t honestly want the pic line, it creeps me out the thought of it and I weirdly just don’t want the plastic or whatever it is made of in me for weeks! 

In other news I have been so good at having my green smoothie each day but I so want smoked salmon and cream cheese and I’m not allowed either whilst on the chemo….unless I smoke the salmon myself… Anyone know how to do that?  I swear if I could I would!  

   

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One thought on “I’ve always been a dizzy blonde. 

  1. Mel, my friend Oge had the line put in and she was totally fine with it. She said that it made the whole process much easier and less stressful. I’ve been reading your blog with avid interest and you’re doing a great job. It mustn’t be very nice with the hair situation but its a side effect and when all your chemo is done with it’ll just grow back normally. X thinking of you lots, praying that this journey isn’t too too dreadful for you (if that’s even possible), and looking forward to reading more of your blog and what you do to show people how it is during, but more importantly your journey after and continuing the toxin free life in the future. As the indomitable Winston Churchill once said… “if you’re going through hell…. Keep going” x

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